things i learnt today

1. it is really hard to forgive. too hard in fact. but it is one of the most important thing that we know we were called to do. so, still, i have to forgive.
2. putting up a happy mask and telling everyone 'its ok' is really tiring.
3. i can deceive everyone, but not myself.
4. what has been done has already been done, looking back is just to take the lessons with me, not the regrets.
5. saying is easy. doing is hard.

OH MY. its been a year!

well... i have gained a lot and lost a lot for this past year.

im not talking bout my weight. >.< no. i'm talking bout people and things in my life. lessons and all...

things i have learnt for the past one year;

1. although i'm far away from home, but home has always been in my heart
2. accept people for who they are, everyone have flaws, don't expect people to suit to your own liking
3. women are dangerous creatures, never mess with them
4. architecture, is easy, when you take it as an interest, not a duty
5. you can never please everyone. so just do what you like if you think it is right
6. so what if i think lame jokes are cool? one day i will find someone who appreciates lame jokes just like me!
7. no matter how far i try to run away from God, i end up running back to Him
8. when you love someone, make sure you reserve something for yourself instead of giving it all out to that one person, just in case if anything happens, you still have that reserved love and energy to move on
9. God, is still better than man
10. having ONE, less, is having MANY, more.

i'm back....

stronger...

and hopefully... wiser...

“Quench the violence of fire, escaped the edge of sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies…”

Hebrews 11:34

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!

miss me? miss u!

life here has been super super busy. as in really busy. my atempt of updating my blog has been done so many donkey times. n so many donkey times stupid xanga doesnt allow me to. stupid.

therefor, i actually do not know what i wanna say cz i'v typed this somany times D. but anyway.

there's only 2 chinese in my course. and one half chinese. which is me. i'm a rare species from sabah.

my course is getting tougher and tougher. i have no time to rest. weekend is not a weekend to me. for today. i only had half an hour sleep. my drawings sucks. my lecturer doesnt like my idea. and i just realised what a lousy designed i have done for this current assignment. i'm expecting a very low mark from them now. OH God... help me.

i read a sorta like sticker thing. 'Architecture is looking pretty with eyebags'. Ha.Ha. so true. my studio, my work table. is my bed. my home.

i cant understand why i had the passion for this course. its taking my time, my money, my life! its a complete torture! n guess wat. even when i graduate. things dont just end there. it gets worst. maybe i'l just settle down and be a house wife? yeah... maybe...

church. sadly. havent been goin that often. i have no time to. no time to sleep. no time for church. man. u know how guilty it feels? i need to get back in track with God. i hope he forgives. i miss him a lot u know. i'm so messed up now.

gotta go. love u all. miss u guys.

ok... i don't wanna count down the days anymore. but dang. its this FRIDAY.

i guess i realised, its not about me being lonely in KL that matters. its about my significant other being alone that matters to me most. AH! why?????!!!!!

but... He's a big boy. no worries. he probably can go fishing or something. .... ... wait. just have to make sure he is fishing for FISH. not MERMAIDS. >.< heh. cz trust me. i don't share. (if u get wat i mean)

I AM A BIG MINI... i meant... MEAN-NIE.

and.

A BIG WORRY-YER

i'm worrying too much. really.. too much. wat if i cant fit in? wat if my room sucks? wat if the toilet is really sshhmelly? n dirty? wat if i can't cope? wat if? wat if? wat if? wat if i can't iron my clothes? (gosh...) wat if i have no cotton-buds? or safety-pins??

WAT IF I CANT DO WELL IN THIS ARCHITECTURE COURSE???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so negative. this is what happens when u stop reading the bible. you lose your confidence. just like me. God... please forgive me.

me and my mom went for dinner with Rodney's WHOLE FAMILY just now. ok. remember. 26th June 2007. at Gunters. AHHHH!!! i was like so nervous! >.< Rodney was like. "so worried for wat??! they won't eat u up?!" ... ... well... its still scary! but turned out... it was quite fun... :o) n a pricy dinner. pricy i tell u. Rodney forbids me to reveal the price in this blog. P & C he said.

guess thats all. i STILL don't wanna leave. i gotta read my bible now.. God Bless You! :o) 

eheheheheheh.... >.<

THANK YOU DANIEL! hehe...

Dan and Rod organized a last minute farewell party for me in Pizza Hut. well.. we went to Damai. n the place was freakin full. so. we stood there for almost and hour i think to decide where to go. so. we went to CP's Pizza Hut. we got there. n the Pizza Hut manager was like so RUDE and so UNFRIENDLY. we know lah u have a hard busy day or something. at least treat us with some respect since u see 13 people budgin into ya restaurant to bring up ur sales right????!!!! apa NI!! but anyway. everyone, ESPECIALLY Daniel (the anak BOS) was so content to see the face of hers after finding out who DANIEL TAN ANAK CK TAN is! haha. jahat lah me... >.<

anyway. we had fun. took lotsa stupid pictures. i get to be famous and had body guards who kept other people 50 feet away from me! >.< (we were just bein crazy since we own the whole CP at 10.00pm) Thank you again! Daniel! Beverley! Joy! Aldous! Paul-ina! Nelson! Ian! Bobby! Sean! Vector! Aivern! RrRodney!

oooh! Aldous family belanja makan Lunch too! coooooooooollll.. Hong Kong Recipe's Cheese Baked Rice. Yummy.... >.< Thanks ALdous!

i saw Nadia!!!!!!!! wanted to go over and say Hi. But then i know i wont wanna stand up. there was just so MANY people there i wanted to pull my scalp and scream D! i dun like to be at places where theres many buzy ppl u know. i get very easily irritated. so.. sorry Nadia. and... HI!!!!! heh..

I had a great day... Again. Not looking forward to leave!

HA.HA.

4 MORE DAYS!